When faced with failure, our immediate response often involves asking ourselves a single question: why? Why did this happen to me? This question can lead us down a spiral of self-doubt and insecurity, fixating on our fears and shortcomings. As a freelance PR professional, I’ve encountered my fair share of setbacks, and I understand this feeling too well.
Recently, I stumbled upon an article from the Harvard Business Review titled, “What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It).” Authored by Dr. Tasha Eurich, a leading psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author, the piece struck a chord. Dr. Eurich’s research emphasizes the importance of shifting our focus from “why” to “what” when we encounter failure.
What makes this so profound, is that it steers us away from unproductive rumination. For example, “why” tends to trap us in a negative thought cycle, while asking “what” opens the door to learning and self-awareness.
Consider this scenario: you’re passed over for a promotion. If you dwell on “why didn’t this work out?” you might find yourself dwelling on it for days, months, or even years. But if you reframe the question to “what could I have done differently in this situation to achieve a different outcome?” you empower yourself to reflect constructively and identify actionable steps for future success.
Achieving success requires introspection and self-awareness. When we’re truly committed to growth, getting stuck in the “why” can hinder progress. Embracing the power of “what” enables us to remain objective, explore new avenues of self-exploration, and, as Dr. Eurich suggests, stay “future-focused and empowered to act on our new insights.”